Bring a few inches of salted water to boil and have ready tongs or a spider/slotted spoon and a big bowl of ice water.

Boil the asparagus for anywhere from 1 to 3 minutes, depending on thickness. [1 minute for super-skinny pencil asparagus; 3 minutes for thick spears; when in doubt, or when it looks like the ones you see here, I default to 90 seconds.]

Scoop the asparagus from the boiling water and drop it directly into the ice water. Leave it there until the asparagus is fully cool, about 1 to 2 minutes.

Drain the asparagus and arrange the spears on a large, absorbent kitchen towel. Roll them up in the towel (like a cinnamon roll), grab the sides of the towel cigar to hold it closed while you shake it vigorously a bunch of times, allowing all of the excess water to wick off.

Free the dried asparagus from the towel and you can now chill it in the fridge for 2 days, until you’re ready to eat it, or get it ready for snacking right now.

Arrange the asparagus on a large plate and drizzle generously with olive oil, the juice of the first half of the lemon, flaky sea salt, and pepper flakes.

Put the dressing in a tiny bowl off to the side and have the second half of the lemon on the plate if the spears need more. Grab and dip spears to your belly’s content, or until the spears disappear, whichever happens first.